Adventures of a Thai Bucket

Whats Pink, likes to get wet and often has objects put into it?

Well hello people, its me Slutt Bucket of course! Sometimes my other Bucket Friends look down on me.

I live near Base Backpackers Hostel in Sydney, where my other Bucket friends sleep in the Nice, clean and Cheap hostel accommodation.

I was born easter weekend in The Scary Canary in the midst of a wild Base staff party. The Scary Canary has had some pretty mean parties since I have been around.

o White Party, where I even had my hurr did!

o Tuesday Quizz Nights where all the patrons chanted my name.

o Wednesday wet jock comp (and yup I was the bucket they poured the water from)

o Farewell party for Base staff, where we sang at a karaoke bar and we drank waaaaayyyyy to much beer!

o Jaeger bomb Fridays!!! my fav

o Saturdays you’ll find me in the dj both with dj Danny Simms getting down and dirty

I’m making a bar managers list and definitely checking it twice. So far my conquests include: CK (Globe Bar), Kurt (DownUnder Bar) and Josh (Scary Canary) to whom I have fallen pregnant!

The Base Sydney staff always sort me out with a room when I need to take my conquest back to the hostel. I might even have taken some reception staff upstairs too… I have already started my base reception staff list and probably have half of them ticked off already!

I am currently sleeping my way up the East Coast with some base Sydney staff. Having a great time and catching up with a lot of my favourite things on the way. Not to mention The BIG Banana! And boy was it big!

My itinerary:

June – Base Airlie Beach, Base Magnetic Island

July – Base Auckland and Whangamata to see one of my lovers

August – Euro trip including: France, England, Norway, Finland, Sweden, Netherlands and Denmark

September – Rugby World Cup New Zealand (big men in short, shorts)

Well that’s it for now. I have my own facebook page where you can follow my conquests, thrills and spills…….. www.facebook.com/slutt.bucket

I’ll be the best friend you’ve ever have, because after all: I am a Slutt……Bucket.

Happy Travels

Slutt Bucket

Late breaking news flash:
This just in... The Slutt has been sleeping her way around Airlie, first with Nathan at DownUnder Bar and with Aotea at reception. After staring at lifeguards with red short-shorts down at the lagoon, she set sail for Whitsundays. Boarding the clipper, The Slutt was upset to find only 14 boys amidst the 40 girls, so she set her sights on the crew: Possum, Cupcake, James Moley Mole, and Jay the Skipper. After tieing the knot with the deck hand, she won the talent competition with a rap to be remembered. Slutt Bucket truly rocked the boat!

Australian colonizer himself

Last week I stayed in the small country town of 1770, which was Captain James Cook's second landing in Australia. Cook was traveling with a pair of botanists.
Cook had a standard upbringing, he was an apprentice in ship building. Bored of this at 27, joined royal navy for battle against France in Canada. He was promoted for his attention to detail and good navigational skills almost immediately upon his enlistment.

When he got back he went out on a scientific voyage following an eclipse to figure out how far the sun was away from the earth. This was a voyage to correct latitude and longitude measurements.

They travelled into Tahiti where the Tahitian women would have sex with them for any shiny pieces of metal (ex. nails).
Because there was so few nails left in his ship, Cook had a dilemma to solve.

He decided to open up an envelope that he wasn't supposed to open. The orders were to find the great southern continent, believing that there was an equal amount o land on the southern hemisphere. The Dutch had named this place New Holland about 100 years ago. Cook sailed out and reached the two islands of New Zealand mapping them meticulously to prove it was not what they were looking for. When he eventually hit botany bay which he named stingray bay, naming it afte what he ate, which he usually did.

They mapped the coast meticulously, taking back over 1500 plants and animals to analyze in England. He got stuck in the great barrier reef, dumping everything they didn't need. He went up to cairns and fixed the boat in the low tide. He stopped at possession island where he claimed the land under the English law of paradulis, (sp?) meaning no mans land. He the sailed to Singapore and had his boat fixed and then home.

Years later he sailed out looking for the great landmass again the paradulis (sp?) but had to turn back because he was too cold in Antarctica. In 1788 he sailed out on his final voyage the resolution to find a trade route between China and England. Discovering Hawaii, where the Hawaiians thought he was god. He stayed a bit too long and the passage was blocked by ice. Upon his return to Hawaii they were not too impressed, however I have been told of two probable endings of the famous Captain James Cook...

1: the highest honor to a god is to eat him, so to pay true homage to Cook the Hawaiians killed and ate him.
2: Cook suspected someone of stealing, and as he was snooping around someone stabbed him with a spear, realizing he wasn't a god they killed him.

Some of Cooks greatest accomplishments were: adding a third of the worlds land mass to the British empire. While he also discovered and cured scurvy by feeding sailors sour kraut and fruit.

His maps were used up until 15 years ago because they were so accurate, you can put them up to a satellite image and they are accurate up to 100 meters!

Down Under BEER

Tasmania has the oldest brewery; Cascade Brewery was established in Tasmania in 1824. Coopers is family owned, but apart from them, all of the large breweries are now owned by Foster's or the New Zealand-based Lion Nathan.

No Australians drink Foster's Lager, and so it is made mostly for export to the UK. However, the English I have spoken to believe there is much better beers to drink, especially in the lager department.

After my visit to the XXXX brewery, I decided to put together this list; and as aforementioned , illuminate the monopolies that exist even in australia's beer industry.

New South Wales: Tooheys, Reschs, Hahn, James Squire and KB Lager
Queensland: XXXX and Powers
South Australia: West End, Southwark and Coopers
Tasmania: Boags in the north, Cascade in the south
Victoria: Carlton Draught, Victoria Bitter and Melbourne Bitter
Western Australia: Swan and Emu

Let the coast begin!

STATE OF QUEENSLAND


Dolphin:
Spotted on a coastal walk in the town of Noosa; atop Hell's Gates.

Lizard:
Caught my eye as I strolled through Tea Tree Bay.

Crab:
Grabbed the attention of Melissa and I as we left our footprints on the beach of Maloolaba.


P.s. Why are they called pirates? 'Cuz they just ARRR!

Byron Bay

Two words: Kicking back.
With the bustling city to our back, a transition begun in a whole new world of exploration. Our guide for the first leg was nicknamed Hog, leading us with music and stories. Tunes included those of Slim Dusty, paired with stories about Croc Dundee. The infamous Croc was actually a common bridge painter; painting the harbour bridge year round, end-to-end and back again. Looking back on Sydney, next to the bridge at the Oprah House, the designer went more than double over his budget, and was tod his design would never pan out, however it was funded to creation, but the designer was not allowed back in the country, and died before ever seeing his creation. Even further back in Sydney history, many prisoners died on the first ships sent from England. Surprisingly the first ship was not so bad, but the second ship, the prisoners were not allowed to see the light of day, and therefore suffered awful cases of scurvy due to malnutrition. Scurvy leads to skin turning black, tooth and hair loss, as well as the reopening of old scars and wounds....

So Hog carried on with his stories, narrating the trip, helping spot wild kangaroos on the roadside. I saw nearly ten today, along with hundreds of horses and thousands of cows. This was followed by heaps of banana plantations (sidenote: banana trees are a lot smaller than I imagined). Following a quick nap we finally arrived at our first destination, SPOT X. Hog then proceeded to discuss how surf spots are all given nick names when they are discussed or published, names that you would never find on a map; names that you need to earn your stripes to find out where they actually are located. After a short look around the surf town, which was quite small, we continued our journey as the sun began to set.

Keeping a keen eye our for our hopping highway marsupials, a game of cards ensued as well as some light reading and some salt and (malt) vinegar chips... the Aussies call em crisps. Rocking up at Byron we were treated to a story about some academics from Equador who built traditional rafts in the 1970s and sailed all the way to the East coast of Australia. After a journey of 6 months, this group of three flew home; to the amazement of their peers this lucky bunch had just proved that without paddles or motors, ancient societies may have used these ocean currents for trade and transport. Three years later this group decided to do it again to prove it was not a fluke and instead did the same journey with three boats; again using traditional balsam wood and a somewhat less-traditional, but somehow appropriate hemp.

A Postcard Home

Dear friends and family,

First of all I would like to thank everyone who helped me get here... my parents, my close friends and immediate family. A special thanks is due to my previous employer who owes me a months pay. Arriving in Sydney with a mere thousand dollars was a rude awakening when rent is $200+ a week. With less than a months rent I set off to work at the hostel early and soon after began working the streets for money (i.e. fund raising for charity.) My month-long charity work being fruitless, I continued my search for a job until I landed at the NRMA (the Australian CAA service.) Thanks to NRMA I was able to save another thousand dollars and make my way out of Sydney (finally.)

Leaving Base Backpackers Hostel for Cairns feels a bit like leaving home for the second time. Many lifelong memories and friends that have made lasting impressions. So now I head out of Sydney: From Byron to Surfers, Brisbane to Noosa, Fraser via Rainbow, 1770 to Airlee, Maggie to Mission, and finally to Cairns.

Sincerely,
The Reincarnation of Steve Irwin
Captain ONeill